Rein in the petty…

Y’all…I’ve really been asking God to help me become less petty!

Long story short: a colleague who’s been acting shady (even going as far ignorming my greetings and acting like I don’t exist during team meetings) suddenly noticed I was alive since she needed a favor.

Typical – and the perfect time to be petty, right?

But the internal struggle began. Should I do ol’ girl a favor, or be just as petty? Here’s how and I why I came to the help her out.

Check My Attitude

Listen…I’d been keeping the North Philly girl inside of me at bay for months. And you know how hard it is to fight against the “angry black woman” stigma and be a “good Christian”? Thankfully the Holy Spirit stopped me in my tracks. In an instant, I thought about all the times I didn’t experience God’s wrath when I should have. When I blatantly disobeyed Him, acted in a way unbecoming of a believer, or told a “little white lie”. That got me in check quick.

Pray & Ask for Forgiveness

The next thing I had to do was ask for God’s forgiveness. Some say thoughts aren’t sins if they aren’t acted on, but I believe different. Here are a few verses that reference it:

  • “As someone thinks within himself, so he is.” (Proverbs 23:7)
  • “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.” (James 1:14-15)
  • “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” (Romans 12:2)
  • “For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies: These are [the things] which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man.” (Matthew 15:19-20)

Have an Accountability Partner

Iron sharpens iron. Enough said.

It helps to have someone in your circle that is calm, knows what the scripture says, and can give you an unbiased perspective – including telling you when you’re dead wrong. For me, hubby is my go-to person.

It’s Still Ministry

It’s NEVER about the other person. Every action and interaction is an opportunity to minister.

Romans 12:20 says: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 

The instinct to be petty and to feel the other person should be embarrassed by or ashamed of his/her actions is…well, second nature. Choosing not to be is a testament to God’s goodness and His impact on our lives.

Next time…fight the urge to be petty. You may be surprised by the person’s response. It will also make you feel a bit lighter – and of course God is pleased. Remember: “Don’t treat people as bad as they are. Treat them as good as you are.” Or in this case, as good as God is!

Can you recall an instance, particularly in the workplace, where you showed grace to someone? How do you think that affected that person’s view of you, and more importantly, of God?

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