I can’t describe it. When we hung up, I felt happier, lighter, relieved, and was slowly nodding my head…yep…she was a good fit for me.
Sure, I’d tested the waters with two therapists prior to this one, and had experienced couples’ counseling, but this felt right.
We were in the early phases of the process, and still getting to know each other, but here are some signs and tips that let me know that I was on the right track with my new therapist.
She looks like me.
This is obvious. I mean…to go from oftentimes being the only POC in a professional setting, to being able to sit down and speak freely with someone who understands the specific challenges of being a Black woman in America made me feel safe and heard.
We have chemistry.
I get it. Each mental health professional has their own approach, personality, and overall vibe. But mine? She’s warm, friendly, and actually appears to have a pulse. Imagine that?!! Totally put me at ease. Who wants to confide in someone who’s stoic, detached, and cold? Would you open up to someone like that? Therapy shouldn’t feel formal or heavy. I appreciate that I can laugh one second, or get serious the next – however our time flows.
She’ll occasionally share something to reinforce our connection, and to confirm that she can relate to my experiences and my this particular phase of life I’m experiencing (motherhood, caregiving, etc.). Not saying you have to spill your entire life story, but it helps when you’re trying to establish a rapport with clients.
She has great nonverbals.
This is a big one! Eye contact, giving me your full attention when we’re talking, and not appearing physically closed-off (arms folded, not facing towards me, etc.) are uber important. And for God’s sake, please smile! She got an A in this category.
She was upfront with her expectations
When I read her listing at Therapy for Black Girls and her website, she was transparent about her own personal mental health experiences, which helped me to better understand her “why”. The practice’s policies on rates, payments, process, and client expectations were clear, leaving little-to-no questions unanswered (which is almost impossible for someone like me who comes prepared with an abundance of questions.).
Pricing, payment, and invoicing options
I don’t knock how an entrepreneur runs the back end of their business, but it’s a turnoff to only have to pay with a cash or check – especially with so many payment options available.
Pricing was last on my checklist because if it was a good fit, I’d have no problem paying the rate, since therapy is an investment.
She is responsive and professional
Y’all…how about I’m still waiting to hear back from therapists I’ve left messages with LAST YEAR?
Not the case here…I received a response almost immediately – by phone and email – and she was persistent in communicating with me, which showed me that she wanted to help me. That goes a long way!
I realize that I have a bit of OCD, and that some of these may or may not be a deal breaker for you. But if you’re looking for a therapist – which I strongly recommend as a part of your self-care regimen – these should help you narrow down your choices.
Let me know below: how did you know that you and your therapist were a good fit for each other?