Married sistas, can we talk?
Honestly, how would you rate the quality of your marriage – especially during the pandemic?
I’m not going to lie…this year has challenged our marriage unlike any other! As if trying to stay connected wasn’t hard enough before, it’s felt almost impossible in 2020.
Almost.
Like most families and households during the first few months of the pandemic, we were just trying to stay safe and healthy. With hubby being an essential employee, I was thrust into taking the lead in helping our two young ones adjust to virtual learning – all while working remotely for my day job and running my consulting business. (Whew…that was nothing but God!)
But somehow in the midst of stocking up on food, supplies, medication, and essentials, making sure both of our families were good, and just trying to figure out how to adjust, we left us out of the equation.
Here we are, almost a year later. And while we haven’t totally found our rhythm (who isn’t still adjusting to life during a pandemic?), we’ve made significant progress towards making our marriage a priority during tough times.
Here’s how…
Acknowledge the One who brought us together
Our marriage isn’t just a partnership, but a true covenant with God. We don’t make the slightest decision without His guidance.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” Without that third cord, our marriage is vulnerable.
Go back to basics
What made you fall in love when you were dating? What were some things you used to enjoy doing? Do those things!
Hand-written notes played such a big part in our courtship and early years of our marriage. I recently found some of my husband’s notes to me, and we read them over together. It brought back great memories for us both.
We still send early-morning “I love you” texts, and I always look forward to his midday calls to tell me he’s thinking of me.
Carve out time and stick to it
Come what may, we stick to our weekly “date night”, which also means making sure the early part of the day isn’t jam-packed, and wrapping up dinner and the kids’ bedtime earlier than usual. The last thing we want to do is to feel exhausted and rush through what should be the highlight of our week. It’s important to be fully present when it’s our time together.
Mix it up a bit
Bible study is important to us, but we try to throw in something different like a massage, watching a movie, or just sharing a dessert. If you’re doing the exact same thing every week, it may get a little stale. Try a virtual paint and sip, or even an in-home wine pairing.
Create boundaries with the kids
So let’s keep it 100. This is an uphill battle y’all! I can’t tell you how many times a day we have to tell the kids to knock before entering a room, or explain that mommy and daddy need a date night. Understandably at their age (4 and 7), it’s easy to think they have free reign of the house and the family schedule, but it’s taking hold. They’re quick to tell each other they need some “alone time”. LOL
One thing that hubby pointed out is that because we already made a habit of these, we had a good foundation, which helped us not just survive, but flourish in seemingly difficult times. At almost 14 years in, I honestly couldn’t agree more.
What are some ways you’re staying connected with hubby during the pandemic?